Bullying in today's day

I was a bullied kid. It started when I was about 8 years old. The boys started calling me fat. Naturally, the girls who didnt like me started in too, but it was mainly the boys. I was picked on everyday for being "fat"...I look back at pictures now and think "I wasnt even really FAT, I was TALLER than they all were but FAT? No, not hardly". I hated school, so much in fact that I never went an entire week from elementary school till high school. I finally snapped in junior high which was exponentially worse. There were even more kids who I didnt know who decided I was "fat and disgusting" too. I suffered through 7th grade, went home daily and cried, had a handful of loyal friends but they were picked on too for other various things, i.e. glasses (had those too), braces, being short, whatever....so in the 8th grade, I discovered things like cigarettes, sex (I hit puberty pretty big time over that summer) and I developed a temper.....I made a couple of new friends which were boys....boys with long hair and tempers who didnt like me being picked on. Well, one day at school, a dumb ass kid who I didnt like decided he was going to be a smart ass and call me not only FAT but a slut (I was a virgin) too so I produced a large switchblade and told him to F off......I was suspended the next day and never went back to public school...I was sent to the school where the 'bad kids' go.....funny....I wasnt really a bad kid...I was the quiet one who really minded my own damned business, played music and wanted to be left alone.....it's funny how the abused are usually the ones punished...of course teachers saw my torment on a daily basis for YEARS and not ONCE did they ever do shit to stop it!!

Well, the difference between torture in the 80's and 90's and now are quite huge. Today the torment doesnt stop once school stops, kids text and IM and blog 24/7...it's disgraceful, horrible and I think kids who harm other children should all be expelled...thus living a life being uneducated and ridiculed for being stupid...they should be shamed. I also think kids now are even meaner then they used to be. I blame this on the parents NEVER disciplining the rotten little things. I refuse to allow my kids to be mean to other children.

That's all for now.

Monday....bloody hell. Barry decided it would be a keen plan to take the babies to Target Friday night. Normally, I go by myself and this past week, I had a very large list of items we needed. Well, taking them with us proved to doom me permanently. They've been off schedule ever since. Charlotte keeps going to bed and then waking up an hour later, then she wakes up another 2 times during the night.....REALLY not pleased about this. I've been up pretty much since 3AM. Had a hard time getting back to sleep after she was up at 2AM. She didnt want to go back down after Barry fed her so I had to get her to sleep.

I'm really down lately, mainly over the way I look. Been walking everyday but I look so much bigger than before. I guess it's from the pregnancy. All the weight is now collected in the middle and I look like Grimace. Freaking disgusting. Really bummed about this. Plus I don't physically feel "right" lately either. Not sure if it's just the weight or that on top of added "where are we going to live and how are we going to live" stress....I really want to start smoking again. I need some sort of vice.

Question of the day...why is it that men need to sneeze so loud? I've known a lot of men who feel the need to sneeze so loudly it wakes the dead. It is completely illogical. Barry sneezes so loud that just this morning, he woke Charlotte out of a dead sleep and she screamed and cried and then he wondered why it was I wanted to punch him in the throat....hmmmmmmmmmm....What the hell man? There's no reason, NONE, not at all, no logical reason what so ever to make that much noise. So dumb.

Well, the weekend was uneventful with the exception of Monkey not going to the vet for once and we've slightly regained her trust...won't last long.

Oh crap, I'm going to be 36 in a week. Bugger. That sucks. How am I going to spend my birthday? Doing what I do normally, taking care of babies and being angry and bitter. JOY!