Goodbye 2010, here's hoping 2011 turns out good

Well 2010 is almost over. 2011 is around the corner and I hope to god we will have the rent to start it off OK. Officially broke as hell. Not sure what we are going to do. Trying not to totally freak out over this but it's getting harder everyday. Been taking my Atavan daily so I don't have a complete panic attack around my kids. I'm hoping Barry lands a job pretty much immediately or I will have to if he's not even going to try. We have been blessed that the state of CT has insured our children so we don't have to worry about that for the time being.

I'd forgotten how much I loathe the winter months. My nose does nothing but bleed every morning from the forced heat and my skin itches so much I want to rip it off. Can't get enough moisture.

My only rant about Christmas is the bad music, I love holiday music but for the love of God, I cannot stand Spike Jones songs!!! UGH it's just terrible. Have the TV on the seasons music station and they seem to think there are only like 10 albums so they play the same crap over and over at the same time every day. Madonna's "Santa baby" makes my skin crawl.

Well I hope everyone has a fun, safe holiday season and that's really all for now. I'm depressed so instead of going off an about a zillion things, I'm going to sign off.

Peace be with you all and be kind to one another, if only for a day.

It's December already??

Yep, they're both walking and John has 7 teeth. Charlotte still only has her bottom 2 and has been teething for MONTHS now it seems.

It's December? Really? Wow.....It's 10PM here and I am actually on the computer for a whopping minute so I figured I'd blog...now that I'm here, I'm brain dead.

Holy crap speaking of dead, anyone watching The Walking Dead? Fanfreakingtastic! What a creepy show. I am not usually afraid of zombie, vampire or any type of horror related thing but let me tell you, if I have to go down into the dark at 3AM, I am officially spooked by noises and think it's zombies. Yes I do.....I've gone that mental.

Well Christmas is here in New England, it's cold as hell and dark by 4PM which sucks. We are officially poor again. Was hoping that this wouldnt happen to us again but it did and it's depressing. I'm having stress headaches and crying again....BUT we're not in serious debt which is a positive....just hope we can keep the babies fed and the house warm. Bottom line, need to keep the babies fed and warm, that's all that matters. Hoping 2011 will be a good year for us all.

Yeah I keep saying I have things to bitch about and believe me, I do. I'm just to tired to bother right now. I need to log on when I'm awake and have more than 5 minutes to bang out a sentence. There are tons of things for me to go on about and not enough time.

Well, if I don't log back between now and the 25th, happy Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.

Hi CT, remember me?

Well here we are, back in CT. Been here since the beginning of Sept. but officially in our place a couple weeks ago. I am exhausted, there are not enough hours in the day to get anything done when you have to chase 2 crawling sand crabs around all day. The babies are so off schedule, it's horrifying. Neither sleep through the night, I get the most sleep after 6AM once they're both up and Barry deals with them. They only want me 24/7 and it's beyond draining. On top of that, I pinched a nerve in my neck and ended up in the ER. There's really nothing I can do since I have to constantly bend down and pick up the kids all the time, there is no time to heal at all. I try and blot out most things that I know will send me into a spiral of sadness and fear such as us pissing through the cash we have, neither of us working steadily. I am thankful I am back in the same area as my folks and some good friends. Christ I am tired.

Sorry for the lame update folks, granted, I have TONS of stuff to bitch and moan about but I'm just drained.

So much bitching, so little time....

Oh man I have so much to complain about, I don't know where to even begin!

I will start with the "Real" Housewives of New York, DC, Orange County, etc....It should really be titled "The real hookers of New York, DC, Orange County, etc...".....these woman are as "real" as Heidi Montag's tits. They have been sucking and humping their way to the "top". Can any of them cook, clean, change a diaper, DEAL with not being RICH? I don't think so, FUCK THEM ALL. Mainly screw that Solari (sp?) cunt from DC. Her and her husband should be in bloody jail for that shit they pulled at the White House. She's a freaking loser. I have never, not once watched any episodes of any of those bullshit shows, I have seen them mocked on good shows like the Soup. I can tell the other wives in DC want that bitch to be the victim of a drive by. I don't blame them, she's horrid.

Other news. I slipped in my apartment complex, taking the trash out to the trash room. They decided to mop the floor and not post a sign. I fell on my ass, twisting the shit out of my right foot and leg. This happened and Barry called the management and you what nerve they had to say? "Well maybe someone spilled something there", not "OMG is she OK?" So if something is really wrong, I'm bringing them the medical bill and paperwork and they can reimburse me. If they give me shit. I'll fucking sue them. That's the mood I am in. So if you live in an Archstone apartment and you get hurt, I hope they're nicer to you than they were to me in that regard. Assholes.

Moving back East next weekend. Scared shitless. The cats are going back Monday night with Collette. Hoping that goes smoothly or I may have a slight heart attack. We leave Friday night. Need to get Benedryl for the babies and see how that goes so I can decide if we're going to dope them for the plane ride. Their pediatrician said it was cool so before you judge me, blow me.

Other things I need to complain about...starting to lose my short term memory here, to much going on in my head at the moment.....You know what? I think the "real housewives" shit was the main thing that was eating away at me. I hate those sodded cows. All of them. I don't care if Bethany or whatever her name is is friends with Hoda (whom I love), she's terrible. Didnt care that she got knocked up before getting married, didnt care that she had a baby, don't care about her existence at all.

Oh now I remember, Jersey Shore...FUCK YOU! I was born in NJ, the majority of my family was born and raised there, a lot still live there and not ONE of them act or talk like those spray tanned fuckwits! Those assholes are mainly from NY arent they? Well it should be called "NY Dipshits" then! They need to stay the fuck out of my home state! CLOWNS! Snookie looks like a drag queen, she's not even cute! UGH! The "situation?" WTF is that? Douchebags!

I need to go kick a puppy or old lady now...SOMETHING to take out my rage....things all around are stupid...Oh my freaking lord, Paris Hilton was busted for cocaine? SHOCKING! Someone please KILL IT!!! She's just going to blow a judge to get off, just like Lohan, blow em and pay em off. What WONDERFUL role models!! I am going to teach my daughter that all these assholes are just that, assholes.

Peace

Moving

Moving back to CT next month. I've been an emotional mess from hell. Medicated and everything because I've developed panic attacks! JOY! My god, I thought I was having a heart attack. My poor doctor just said "Well, no, it was a panic attack but we'll give you an EKG to verify" and yep, no heart attack.....yet.

Christ, I started to update this HOURS ago and then the babies woke from their 5 minute nap...

OK, well hopefully I can do a proper update sometime soon because I have SO much to bitch about.

Grateful

The babies with their "gamma", Barry's mom. I can't get over how they look so alike in this pic. Amazing.

So...just thought I would say a few words about things I am grateful for. Trying something new here.

I am grateful for my husband who changes diapers and never gets mad at the babies. For my children. For the fact that they are beautiful and amazing and change every single day. I am grateful that my husband is quitting his shitty ass job and we're moving back to be with our families. I am looking forward to the little things like Sunday dinners with everyone, going pumpkin picking and buying boots and jackets for the babies. As much as I loathe winter, I can't wait to see them in the snow.

So I am going to try and be grateful for things everyday...let's see how long this lasts.

Why did I read CT Craigslist?

Why do I punish myself by reading the rants and rave sections on Craigslist? I was just reminded what a racist bunch of assclowns live in CT...and I'm moving back there....*sigh*....everything to those idiots are about race. Christ, I've been living in Los Angeles for over 8 years now and it's just not like that here. I mean there's racism everywhere, clearly, but it's just so different. Just not looking forward to the typical pissed off East Coast bullshit.

My back stings, burns and itches all at once. They took a chunk of my skin yesterday to run a biopsy. Doc said if I don't hear back in the next 5 days then that means it's nothing. The bandage is all purple from blood and it's grossing me out. I'm scared to have Barry take it off, worried I'm going to have to go back and have them restitch the area.

If whoever is letting their ratty ass little dog bark outside doesnt make it stop soon, I'm going to lose my mind. The babies need to sleep. They've barely napped all day and John is all messed up from lack of a good nap. CHRIST I HATE YAPPY LITTLE DOGS!!!! I'm overtired, not feeling great either. Don't like taking the Ativan. When my body is coming down off it, it makes me really cranky, I mean crankier than usual...more like angry. I would rather have Xanax, that agrees with me better. I probably need to email my doctor.

Shit, I hear John in his crib having a conversation. Probably with mister frog.....we have 3 mister frogs because John likes to spit up on him and it's smelly so I always have 1 in the wash.

Back hurts, I go now