Happy Fall Y'all

Thought I'd pop in and wish everyone a happy Autumn.  The twins turn 3 this weekend and start preschool on Monday.  I will officially have time to BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all....for now....

It's been a long, crappy year

Being a SAHM of ASD twins is exhausting, depressing, occasionally amazing.  I'm sure at some point, I'll get some troll along here to tell me to just shut up and deal.  Yeah, well most days I shut up and deal.  Today isnt one of those days.  I don't think, unless you're a parent of an ASD kid, you realize the simple kids things that make me cry.  I see a baby eating with a spoon, eating real food and not puree.  I see a baby saying and waving "bye bye", it breaks my soul into pieces. Watching kids playing with other kids and laughing.  It's very very hard.  Some days seem harder than others.

I heard that most marriages that produce ASD kids have a tendency to fail.  I can see why.  There are never agreements when it comes to the kids, barely ever do we agree on anything when it comes to these 2.

You ever wish you could just turn the clock back 15 years? Lord knows I do.

Now with 2 kids with Autism Spectrum!....Christ.

So my son was diagnosed a few weeks ago and is also on the spectrum with his sister.  So, here I am, at home, with 2 special needs children. You know what's really fucking hard? BEING ME! Thankfully, they are both getting in home therapy till their 3rd birthday which is right around the corner.  This is a true blessing and I cannot be more grateful for this. I think these 2 are brilliant in their own ways.  I'm still waiting for Charlotte to start really eating.  She's made a little progress and is back on a little jarred food but will still not chew and swallow anything that's not pureed.  John on the other hand is a food hound, but, I am getting concerned that he's going to be a carb loader.  That's pretty common with kids on the spectrum.  Luckily he's a string bean but he eats like every 20 minutes. It's not easy keeping up with  that demand.

Other than being with them 24/7, and I mean 24/7 since John has been sleeping with us since January and Charlotte has to fall asleep on the couch with me and then if I don't pass out also, I then scoop her up and put her in her crib.  Then climb into bed with daddy and the boy.....I havent had a peaceful nights sleep in months.

I wonder if there are any mothers out there who are having similar difficulties?  I don't wish it upon anyone for sure.

Well it's Friday the 13th......something fucked up should happen to me any time now....not that it already hasnt.

Wow...gee thanks CT for this whopping $26 a month to feed my family

Yeah so it's been a while. Things are still not great. Sorry to burst anyone's bubble on that.

Charlotte is finally receiving the services she needs to help with her ASD. We now have professionals come in almost all week to work with the kids. It is truly a blessing and I will not complain about that. What I will complain about is the fact that it took the Attorney Generals office to get Social Services to freaking answer me about food assistance! Unreal. So we were approved.....wow, $26 a month.....yeah a MONTH. Now, in other countries you very well can feed a family of 4 on $26 a month. In America? Hell to the no. Not happening. Also, because Charlotte has completely stopped eating solid food, she's been on Pediasure since November. My child refuses to eat solid food. Well, if you're Social Services, I guess you can say "well that's more of the $26 for the rest of you!".... You bet your sweet ass I am going to fight this.

Now for anyone new to my blog, I am sure you are saying to yourself "Jesus Nora, get off your ass and get a job so you can support your family!"....well, I have 1 child with a disability and another with special needs and you want me to just dump them off somewhere while I go back to work? Where exactly would that be? No, please tell me. We cannot afford childcare and if I go back to work full time, all that money will go to pay childcare thus leaving us in the exact situation we are in now. We have gotten rid of 1 car and I am in the house 24/7 with the twins. Should I go jog to an interview? Granted, that would shed some pounds for sure. Then again, living off $26 a month for food will surely help us all lose some weight around here.

Wow, things really are crap. I am saying this with somewhat of a smirk on my face only because I am heavily medicated on antidepressants to help keep me going without completely losing my shit. Thanks Ativan and Cymbalta, appreciate the support.

My dad is losing his job so their aid to our family is coming to a close also. I guess I should focus on the positive like the fact that we had no snow so we didnt freeze to death?!...yes that's a happy thought. What else?.....I think that's about it right now.

I'd love to blog about Hollywood or politics but honestly I am mommy 24/7 so the only TV I see is Blues Clues, Yo Gabba Gabba, Sesame Street and the Wiggles...it's probably for the best I don't see what's up in the "real world".

2012 sucks.