Just another manic Monday

Here's a blue bird of happiness.......yeah...didn't work for me either....

February 2011 and things are still crappy. I got probably the worst news ever recently. My friend, whom I have known for over 20 years, is going to die. He has a tumor on his heart...it's spreading and surrounding it, he's had 2 heart attacks already because of it. They cannot operate. He has lymphoma that has spread as quickly as the chemo has killed the tumors. They keep growing back even faster. He is only 35. He's never been married or had kids which are 2 things he wanted to do and now it will never happen. I am beside myself over this. I love him dearly like a little brother. He called to tell me about the heart tumor and I could tell he knew it wasnt going to take long before his body will give out. I don't expect him to last the month. His older brother, who I have been best friends with since childhood seems to think it will be a few months. I hope to God the new chemo will kill the tumor but I am not that optimistic. I need to go see him but at the same time, I'm terrified to see him all weak and it will probably be the last time I see him. It's like Scarlett O'Hara says 'I can't think about that right now, I'll think about it tomorrow"....I tend to think that way about most unpleasantness.

My resume is updated (thanks for the advice Jay). I started a more "normal" email address for job searching. It felt weird creating a new email address since I've had the same one for like over 10 years now. The more I read my resume, the more I'd wanna hire me! LOL....not 1 call so far...kind of depressing...Oh well...

Charlotte passed out FINALLY for her nap...damn kid does not like to sleep...it kills me, I just don't understand! Normal kids love to sleep! Not mine! She can go hours and hours till she finally just passes the hell out. She is making me insane. I'm freaking exhausted.

CRAP, I had all these thoughts I wanted to get down and of course "mommy brain" just kicked in which means its like one of those wind up monkeys with the cymbals going "crash crash crash" in my head....it's all gone....BALLS!!

See ya.