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Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Very bad day

I'm in an extremely bad head space right now. I'm very tired as usual and more depressed than usual. My body hurts horribly and I can barely keep myself from crying. I don't want to speak to anyone and don't want anyone speaking to me. I exist solely to take care of my children and that is it. Not even sure how long that will last seeing as how I will probably drop dead of a heart attack or stroke at any given moment due to my size. Also, it's taking all my energy not to go to the gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes.

Both babies are teething and it's making things unbearable. Nothing makes them happy. The only thing they ever want is ice water because of the teething so everything is wet because they don't want to swallow it, just let it sit in their mouths. Getting them to eat is an outright bitch and I'm tired of fighting to get them to eat. Fuck it. I guess they will when they're hungry enough. I can't fixate on it or it will drive me more insane than I already am.

I'm sitting here crying like a freak and my poor daughter is looking at me like I'm nuts. This is out of control.

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