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Thursday, March 25, 2010

Hurt feelings, emotion overload..not sure about my future anymore

I need to post this picture so I remember why I am still breathing. I am in a very bad space right now. I have spent the last week being tortured by the quintessential queen of passive aggressive behavior. How someone can compliment and insult you in the same breathe amazes me. I have been put down about a million times and always with a smile. My feelings are beyond hurt. It's not OK when someone is feeding your child and says all in a lovey dovey voice "Oh let me feed you and I won't overfeed you so maybe this time you won't throw up my honey" or when one of my babies wakes up for a minute from a nap and I say "yeah they'll go back to sleep, they do that all the time" (which they DO) then said person sits in front of them and starts bloody talking to them, thus stimulating them and then they won't nap and I deal with constant meltdowns ALL DAY BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET THEM SLEEP!! Also, coughing like a lung is going to dislodge itself from your chest wakes them and I don't appreciate it being followed by "and why are YOU awake?"after one of them wakes up screaming. Then I hear phone calls and we pretend I'm not in the room and say things like "well John had himself a little meltdown....no, I have no idea WHY that would keep happening" and then shooting me looks like I'm fucking Satan.

I am officially not sure of my future. I'm not in a competition but apparently they didnt get that memo and think we are. No matter how I am treated or how others act towards me and my children, I will always come in last. I am aware of that now completely.

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