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Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I'm a bad mother

I'm the one, the one that all those perfect mothers scowl at. I'm that bitch that lets the baby cry. Not that I WANT the baby to cry, I am only 1 person and I am the mother of twins. I have no one with me during the day. Please, all those who sit upon their thrown s, tell me, what the secret to being the perfect mother like you are. Oh wait? What was that? You only have 1 child? You have a nanny? Well then SHUT YOUR DAMNED MOUTH! I am heartbroken every single time one of my children cry out for me and I am busy feeding or changing the other. It rips my soul apart to hear my children cry so hard you can hear fear in the cry, the fear that they're being abandoned. Don't you ever judge me and act like you're better than I am. I only have 2 hands. If I had the power of turning myself into 2 people, you don't think I'd have done that by now? My heart breaks every morning when my husband leaves for work. At the second the door shuts, I count down the hours and minutes until he's home again and neither of the babies will have to cry to be held or kissed or hugged. As I sit feeding my son and my daughter is crying out for me, I am sobbing and pleading to her to just give mommy a minute, to please let me finish feeding her brother because he needs me too. As I type this, I am weeping because it's just painful even thinking of it. Each day that I am alone, I pray that the babies will decide to stagger their naps, so what if that means I don't get to shower, it also means that no one will be neglected, even for a minute and that's most important. So to those who keep insisting "I just couldnt ever let my child cry it out", try having 2 babies and you'll have no choice in the matter.

Oh and Jennifer Lopez can go fuck herself too with her "perfectly amazing life after having twins". The bitch is worth MILLIONS. If I have to see one more damned news story on how "brave and awesome" she is after having twins, I'm going to vomit. If I had her money, I'd have a slamming body too and perfectly happy babies who get attention 24/7. She can go to hell. I'd like her to live my life for a day. All her hair would fall out and she'd gain 10 lbs even though she barely eats because she's to busy!! Good luck there "Jenny on the block"...sodded cow.

Enjoy your day.

4 comments:

  1. NO ONE can do it all, not even J-Lo. She pays people to make her life look perfect.-
    LuckyIrishTwinsMom

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  2. Ok, going to assume that your blog today was at least in part aimed at me and I just have to ask- Are you kidding me? I never once thought for a second that I was or am a better mother than you. I know you've got more than you can handle and I would never, ever judge you. What the hell? I'm talking about the people who INTENTIONALLY let their babies cry for hours because they want them to learn to fall asleep on their own, like in The Cry It Out Method or Ferber crap. I don't believe in letting a baby cry unnecessarily. I believe they are crying for a reason and the only reason the above mentioned methods even work (temporarily) is because the child eventually gives up and that's just sad.
    I know your circumstances are special and I'm actually kind of offended that you thought so little of me to think that I'd condemn you for that, really I wasn't even thinking along those lines. You have no choice in the matter, I get that. Actually, I was more or less defending myself with that comment because I know there are those that think I'm wrong for sleeping with my baby, but I didn't see another choice.

    I know you're not sitting there like "screw you, shut it kid". I know you are talking to the other baby and doing what you can to comfort him or her. I'm sure waiting a few (or more) minutes is not harmful. You need to stop being so damn hard on yourself. It may not seem like it when you're in the moment because they're screaming their little heads off but they will be fine! You are a damn good mother OBVIOUSLY or you never would have written that blog.

    So, because you are overwhelmed, over-stressed, overtired and have post-pardum AND because I've known you for 20 years, I'm going to forget I ever read that.

    I love you.

    K

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  3. Actually no, what did you say? I didnt aim that at you (for once). I read a lot of Babycenter.com posts and keep reading other womens comments about how "cruel" I am.

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